Letter to my son – To Treat Women with Respect

I’m thrilled to be participating in a five day ‘LOL-a-thon’ organised by ‘The Momsteins’. Join us to read some wonderful letters written by 26 cool bloggers. Stay around to read some amazing letters coming up.

Today’s prompt is Letter to Parents/ In-Laws/Kids.

Letter to my Son

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My Darling Candy

Here is my first letter to you! You are growing up so fast and I can’t believe Its been six wonderful month alreday! You are my world and I love you to the infinity!. First of all, Thanks for choosing me to be your mumma, the last 15 months (9 months in 6 months out) are truly a blessing for me and every single moment spent with you is so precious. As you are growing up, I hope to give you best of upbringing and make you a good and compassionate human being

Your father knows, I always wanted a daughter (Your dad blamed me for gender discrimination all the time for this). I was so obsessed with thought of having a daughter that I did not even thought of boys name until last week before my delivery. You will be amused to know Candy is the nick name I choose for my would be daughter and when you were born I was so attached to this name that I could call you anything but Candy. I know when you grow up you might feel it sound little girly type, but it has all our love. Well, this does not mean when you were born I was disappointed, No.. Absolutely not, I was head over heels in love with you at the very first sight.

Though, you are very little to comprehend what all I am going to write in this letter, but on an appropriate day when you are all grown up to understand this letter, I hope you will appreciate contents of this letter and act on them. This letter sums up what all I hope you to be when it comes to respecting women.

Other day I read a news which gave me shivers down the spine. An eight-month-old gal was raped by her own cousin and was struggling for her life. Appalled by the news, I was in state of shock and disbelief. Then I saw you and I thanked my stars that I did not have a daughter as I am a very emotionally vulnerable person and also over protective. Hours later, I kept thinking about the news and how the little girl parents must be feeling and what kind of society we are becoming where a girl is not safe even in her own home. Then, I realized what if I don’t have a daughter, being mother of a son, I have a greater responsibility on my shoulders now towards Society. A responsibility to raise you my son as a man who respect women and treat them with dignity and respect.

I hope I raise you to be a nice and compassionate human being, kind of men that every woman dreams to meet, who treat women with respect and with kindness. How you treat women will reflect on how I raised you. Well, in short, I expect you to be like you father who always treats women with much needed respect and dignity.

You will never fully understand what it is like to grow up a girl, but you must remember that it is very different. Being a girl is a biggest blessing (I truly belief that) but sometimes its biggest threat as well. I remember when I was studying Law and my law classes were held late evening at Delhi university and how your maternal grand-parents used to worry like anything till I reached home safely. Though I fully understood their concern, but why they should be worried? Why can’t a girl be allowed to roam freely like a boy? We should create a world where a girl feels protected and comfortable all the time and not suffocated and in danger. I hope you will do your best to make a world a better place for them, your little contribution will matter a lot and influence others to be like that

Dear Son, we should not tell our daughter or sisters what to wear and what not, where to go, what time to go to be safe, instead we should all grow our sons to be a man who treats women with respect and dignity. Also, we should not judge a girl based on clothes she wears, choices she makes in life, unlike you she also has rights to make choices in life, be it anything.

Though, God has created both men and women to be equal, I will expect you to treat them superior to you be it your sister, friend, girl friend or colleague. They are the creator of life, they nurture it and they have been empowered by god to do all what a man can never comprehend to do.  Also, they are equally capable of doing what all you can do be it studies, sports or anything. You should respect them for being able to play so many roles and with so much of love, grace and selflessness.

You will grow and probably be in a relationship in future. I hope I never raise you to be the reason a girl stops believing in love or a girl feels used. I hope I raise you to be someone who respects a girl’s emotional venerability and character.

I hope you will always remember these things as you grow up, because I want to always be proud of having a son like you who respects women. Be a nice Human being first and all the good things will follow for sure!

Make good choices in life!

Your Loving Mumma

I would like to thank Chaitali Das for introducing me. You can read her post here chaitalismusings.com

I would also like to introduce my fellow blogger Neha Gupta Mittal, you can read her wonderful post on the prompt here http://www.blogbynehamittal.com

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New Maternity Benefit Law In India- A Boon to Female Employees!

Motherhood, precisely is one of the most beautiful as well as the most memorable phase of life that a woman can ever experience. Initial months after birth are pure bliss and happiness of seeing your child achieving those little milestones are priceless. In these months the bonding between Mother and child develops, I can say I was inseparable from my Little one during all these month, all thanks to get maternity leaves of 6 months  However, as they say all good things comes to an end and so with a blink of an eye my maternity leaves were coming to an end soon. I started to get anxious and thought of leaving little one at home for whole day started hovering in my mind.  Though my in laws came to stay with us when he turned 5 month old, but he was yet to acquaint with them well and was clingy with me most of time, this made me more worrisome and I decided to seek extension of 3 month for work from home after my maternity leaves got over. My HR being aware of new provisions of Maternity Laws in India approved my request, I could not be happier as this meant 3 more month of stay with my Little one.

Being a person from legal background, I was aware of new amendment in Maternity benefit Act, 1961 (Act)  which came into effect from April 2017 (Yes, just before my little one was born, I was too lucky I guess!) and used the benefit provided in the law. However, while talking with few of my friends who are also on maternity leaves, I realized that most of the people are only aware that maternity leave has been extended from 12 weeks to 26 week, but there are many provisions in law beneficial to female employees which they should be knw of like Work from home, Creche facilities, Maternity leaves for adopting and commissioning mother.

So ladies, here is little insight on new amended law which all female (male as well to support their working wife) should know.

  1. What this Act is about

The Maternity Benefit (Amendment) Act 2017 is a landmark Act which has placed India amongst the league of progressive, developed countries with respect to maternity benefits. With the extended Maternity Leave Benefit period, India now qualifies among the 16 countries having the longest paid leave for new mothers. Maternity leave provided under Maternity Benefit Act aims to provide paid leave to female employees so that they can take care of their child at his/her early age soon after delivery which is very critical and important for well-being of the child and not to forget to provide women opportunity to exclusively breastfeed their child.

2. Duration of Maternity Leaves

The period of maternity leave for which a woman employee is entitled to be actually paid is twenty- six weeks now (upgraded from 12 weeks earlier). The would be profitable to about 1.8 billion women work force in India. Only drawback – this is applicable to the establishments employing ten or more people.

3. Time to Start Maternity Leaves

A pregnant woman employee can utilize Maternity Benefit eight weeks prior to the date of expected delivery.

This is helpful as starting eight month of pregnancy most of the women start feeling difficulty in travelling and thus needs greater rest and precaution. So ladies, You need not wait for delivery to start your maternity leaves and same can availed 8 weeks prior to due date of delivery.

4. Benefits given to  for Biological mother

A biological mother is mother who uses her egg to create an embryo implanted in any other woman”.

If latest modern technology is used, through surrogacy, biological mother can  avail this escalated benefit of maternity leave of twelve weeks from the date child is handed over to biological mother.

5. Benefits for Adopting mother

A woman who legally and going through appropriate procedures along with the completion of various formalities, adopts a child  below the age of 3 months, can avail maternity benefit for a period of twelve weeks from the date the child is handed over to her.

 6. Creche Facility

The Amendment has introduced a crèche clause wherein establishment consisting of fifty or more employees is mandatorily required to provide creche facility to female employees which is a real game changer to promote gender diversity. The woman is also to be allowed four visits a day to the creche, including the regular rest interval.

Childcare is the no 1 enabler that women want from their employers. While some Companies are considering a daycare tie-up and some are investing in onsite set up. This is helpful for parents who don’t leave in joint family set up and thus can’t leave their child with someone at home. The cost of setting up day care goes onto employer which also a booster for working parents as saves their daycare cost.

7. Provision for working from home:

There is enabling provision in new act relating to “work from home” for women, which may be exercised after the expiry of the 26 weeks’ leave period. It is based on the nature of work and mutually agreed by the women employee & the manager. This is advantageous for working parents who wants flexible work timings and enables baby care at home as well!

 Apart from these new provisions, there are few general points one should know:

  1. Maternity leave is a paid leave i.e. the employee on maternity leave gets her salary as she used to get earlier during leave. If your employer denies you this right, please confront them.
  2. Employer cannot discriminate performance appraisal system taking into consideration the fact that the female employee was on maternity leave for 6 months.
  3. Employer cannot terminate an employee who is about to take maternity leave on the ground of her being absent during her leave period.

Most corporate are taking the amendments positively, as these liberating policy changes will help in achieving a gender balanced workforce. Working parents constitutes increasing portion of the working population and enabling provisions likes crèche facility, work from home support will not only help the women on maternity but also today’s working parents. Act also mandates the company to lead the communication around maternity benefit to female employee. So, if we you are expecting or planning to conceive or about to deliver a child,  contact your Company HR for more clarity and to know how your company is implementing new provisions.

 Hope this articles clarifies the concept of maternity benefits provided in India. For any queries, please write on aashi2006@gmail.com.