Letter to My beloved Husband- Agar Tum Na Hote!

Pyare Patidev,

This letter is just to let you know that I LOVE YOU and I feel blessed that you are part of my life. Life has been busy these days and with valentine day around the corner, I want to remind you that I love you with all my heart, I always have, I always will. \

As you know, i have got detective like curious mind, quite often I start thinking how, I would have survived this lifetime without you..precisely Agar tum na hote..to kya hota mera! so this letter… 

It’s going to be 3 years of our wedding soon (12 years of our friendship/relationship) and life has been an awesome ride with you! Though I miss our earlier days where we used to be so carefree and in-so-much-love all the time doing nothing on weekends and watching movies on Netflix back to back, exploring new places together ah, I miss those days but changing Candy’s diapers together and singing on top of voice together so our little boy eats is also fun right?

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Every day when I see you I still wonder, so we got married, is this for real? All thanks to social media (Orkut) for letting us meet. How easily we became friends and then best of friends, remember when we met first in 2009 (in person at Mcdonalds janpath, Delhi), You were like a kid then, looking unto me for advises in your personal and professional life. Never a thought occurred in my mind then that I am destined to marry this kid. I don’t know what made us fall for each other, for me it was your sincerity and caring nature (those looks ofcourse!) and i hope one day you will also tell me..

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On verge of 30, with a boosting career, a major disease and tag of “Unmarried”, I had lost all hopes from the life. Your love for me was what made me pass over all the difficult times and I will always be grateful for this.

It’s not easy to love and then marry a girl who is 4 years older to you. Quite often, I wonder why you choose me.. what I have done to deserve you in this lifetime. You would have got any girl way better than me. With those looks, that dimpled smile, that hugeeee female following (Yeah, now I know them all and , am tired of hearing of stories of girls even your teachers having crush on you, and honestly it make me jealous and mad), But then, I thank my stars that you choose me.

You were best as a friend and boyfriend but you are Awesome as husband. Honestly, I never felt I am living with my husband, you always make me feel like I am living with my best friend, Who let me sleep till 10 a.m. on weekends, cooks food for me, massage my legs when they are paining, give me wonderful surprises, who never say “No” to me for anything (because I don’t like hear actually :P). So, all those sayings ki Shadi ke baad pyar gayab ho jata hai or life gets changed after marriage, I never felt so once..lucky me!. I still feel we are like a couple madly in love and who wants nothing but togetherness.

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Ofcourse, we fight, but most of the time they are for stupid reasons and thanks for saying Sorry for every time we fight, even if mistake is mine (Yes, I do know, but you know na, I don’t like to be say Sorry and admit my mistake). So, thank you for being so supportive and loving each and every day of our life. Thank you for breaking the ice every time we fight and I turn my mute button on. Today through this letter I want to say you sorry for all those fights.

As they say be with someone who brings best in you. I am blessed to be with some one who has brought best in me. You see the girl in me who wants to fly in her career, who understand what my professional life means to me and your support has given wings to my dream needless to say my career. We have lived in different cities after wedding but you never asked me to quit my job so we can live together, thanks for this..it was not easy and with our love we sailed through the hard time time easily.

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Thanks for smiles you bring on my face, for all the hugs & kisses that melt my heart, for all the love I see in your eyes! I hope our love will grow stronger over the years and that we will spend our entire life together, enjoying every bit of it. You are one awesome person with amazing sense of humor which keeps our life exciting and entertaining always, be the same please.. lifelong, I know can never match your sense of humor, but I am trying for sure!

And as you know I am very Filmy..One of favourite song for you..!

Tu Safar Mera, hai tuhi meri Manzil, tere bina guzara aey dil hai mushqil..:)

PS: In next birth we will be Girl friend- boy friend from childhood as we often discuss, Pakka Promise!
PPS: Hope you remember the list of gifts I enumerated you for valentines day.
PPPS: Please spend less time with that other person in your life, Yes, your Iphone please!

Love love and love always..!

Your Bossy Wife

I would like to thank Charu for introducing me in this chain. Do read her wonderful post on her blog http://www.themomsagas.com.

I would like to introduce my fellow blogger Archna. Do read her wonderful post on her blog http://www.theindianparentingblog.wordpress.com

 

Letter to my Younger Self- Learn to be Happy!

 

Dear Younger Self,

To begin with, you are leading a wonderful life and I will not provide you many spoilers just that your life is going to be a roller-coaster ride with its share of ups and downs. In coming years of your life, you will see many things which you can’t even imagine right now.

You have begun your corporate career and at the age of 28 you are doing pretty awesome. I will suggest you to don’t work too hard and take a breather every now and again don’t feel guilty about it.  Give your best to everything you do and don’t worry about criticisms, be open to criticism and learn from criticism too, that happens all the time in corporate world, right?. There is something to learn from every experience, be it good or bad what matters is that how you let that experience shape up your life.

Be more compassionate of your Loved ones. Don’t shout at your Mom when she is late in packing your office lunch. She only has two hands like you and she does pretty much everything at home. Well, let time tell you itself, you will realize it sooner!. Listen to your dad advises be it your marriage or finances. Listening won’t harm you right?

Eat healthy!. I know your work and travel takes up most of your time, but eating is also important as much as work. Staying healthy will help you to focus on these things better. Success should not come at the cost of your own health and you will realize it soon.

Give a break to your shopping habit! Don’t buy so many stuff to wear them only for a day! From the same money you can do something much useful, may be some investment which can fuel you travel plans in future. Spend wisely!

Don’t Cry. It’s not good to cry on anything and everything on this earth and you think you succeed in making everyone fool by saying your eyes are looking puffy as you are not wearing “Kohl”. Please, people are not so dumb as you think them to be. Be happy and enjoy your life, bad phase will pass soon!

Enjoy your life and Marriage thing can wait. I know you are tired of rejecting (mercilessly) marriage proposals which dad brings every now and then. Do not allow yourself to get dragged into something you are not comfortable with. Wait for something which both heart and mind allows and who knows you may get your dream man someday. (Spoiler-Start dating someone may be your best friend!).

Lastly, please remember you’re owner of your own happiness, and that the things you think are earth shatteringly important usually aren’t, so please give your mind some rest. Stop waking up till 3 a.m and cherish sleep (who knows in future all you will long for is “SOME SLEEP)

Learn to enjoy life and life will give its best to you one day!

Your Loving

Present Self

This Blog is a part of the Letters of Love Blogathon aka ‘LOL-a-thon’ organised by ‘The Momsteins’. Stay around to read some wonderful letters by 25 awesome bloggers. This letter is based on the Fourth prompt of the Blogathon which is -‘ A Letter To Younger Self/Future Self’.

I would like to thank Charu for introducing me in this chain. Do read her wonderful post on her blog http://www.themomsagas.com.

I would like to introduce my fellow blogger Archna. Do read her wonderful post on her blog http://www.theindianparentingblog.wordpress.com

Letter to Friends- 5 things I hate about you!

Well! how many best friend you have in life. I have quite a number of them. Two from school, One from Graduation, One From Law faculty, 2 From Training /office and 3 from Social media (which includes my husband). This letter is to all my Best friends and not a specific one.

Holla Friends,

Thanks for being in my life . Though there are 1000 things which I love about you all of you,  but there are few things which make me mad as well. In this era of technology, We  all knowingly or unknowingly do all of them most of the time( includes me). So, its high time we all give some attention to them and improve..shall I begin?

  1. Please answer calls and if you do not get time to pick, atleast call back when you get time.
  2. Don’t leave conversations hanging in between be it a call or chat : How weird it sounds, but most of time all of us do it, please improve!
  3. Take courtesy to reply when you have read a whatsapp message or a text, yes please. Don’t wakeup after 5 days and reply, the matter may have lost its importance.
  4.  Don’t spoil travel plans on last day (unless ofcourse where it is necessary due to force majure) and if done, please intimate in advance (atleast a day) so we have time to make some other plans.
  5. Last one( but a funny one): Please take pain to like and reply to a meme on which I tag you on facebook. Out of my hundreds of friends, I choose to tag you, please don’t ignore okay?

Please take action on above points ASAP, otherwise I can sue you in court of friendship.

Waiting in anticipation for an early action !

Aashi

This Blog is a part of the Letters of Love Blogathon aka ‘LOL-a-thon’ organised by ‘The Momsteins’. Stay around to read some wonderful letters by 25 awesome bloggers. This letter is based on the second prompt of the Blogathon which is -‘ A Letter To a Friend/Neighbour etc’.

I would like to thank Nishtha for introducing me in this chain. Do read her wonderful post on her blog www.themomnmunchkin.com

Letter of Love & Gratitude to my happy place – Books

After a lovely 1st day where we got to read some amazing letters of love , today is 2nd day of five day ‘LOL-a-thon’ organised by ‘The Momsteins’. Join us to read some wonderful letters written by 26 cool bloggers. Stay around to read some amazing letters coming up.

Today’s prompt is letter of love to inanimate object.

While glancing through various inanimate objects on which I could write, I came across my mobile, my laptop, my precious makeupkit but my thoughts wandered for something else…what else and suddenly I started missing you..I could see you nowhere near me..I opened my shelf, and there you were, waiting for me.

So here is my Letter of Love & Gratitude to my happy place – Books

Dear Favorite Thing,

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I miss you terribly! Of late we have not been able to spend much time or almost no time together, but that does not mean I have forgotten you, just busy with new responsibilities that life showered on me. But hey, I will soon plan sometime together. what about a date night unlike old times? Oh just kidding..that’s a distant dream now.

As you know I am crazy for you since childhood. Through this letter I want to tell you how much I love you and express my gratitude for constant motivation and support you gave me throughout life.

In my childhood, every year at start of new academic session, I used to get you in new form and new cover. Fascinated by how lovely you look, as I wanted to finish you off as soon as possible, Crazy me!!. The more time I spent with you, more I fell for your charisma. You amazed me in every sense with your personality, your wisdom, your facts, your character. I remember mumma papa scolding me for spending so much time with you, but I would not leave you alone.

As the time passed and I grew up, you became my best friend. A friend, I trusted without any doubt.  In my growing years, you helped me to grow as a person affecting my personal and professional decisions. I thank you for all you taught me which gave direction to my life.

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Thank you introducing me to world of Law. A world which is very fast, ever evolving and more you read, more you want to read. I hope this process of learning and our companionship be lifelong.

Its through you I have traveled to places I have never been to. Places where everything seemed so beautiful and real (sometimes impossible or unreal). I have seen myself wandering on streets of Florence, Italy or Istanbul.. thank you for giving me feeling of being there. I have seen myself randomly walking with Robert Langdon on streets of Florence or romancing Rhett Butler through you. Thank you for introducing these wonderful persons to me.

Through you, I got to mingle and pick the brains of some of my favorite people whom I may never meet in person. Thank you for this!

On those dark nights when my life seemed empty and shallow, you gave me much needed comfort and solace. Thank you for making me feel optimistically, breathlessly, persistently alive.

At last, thank you keeping my Soul alive and I would return to you for wisdom and inspiration again and again.

I Love you for what you mean to me. There is nothing like having you in hand and my eyes glued on you. Lots to catch up between us and trust me this shall be happening soon..Till then, I miss you!

Love

Yours Aashi

I would like to thank Chaitali for introducing me. You can read her post here http://www.chaitalismusings.com.

I would also like to introduce my fellow blogger neha, you can read her wonderful post on the prompt here http://www.blogbynehamittal.com

Letter to my son – To Treat Women with Respect

I’m thrilled to be participating in a five day ‘LOL-a-thon’ organised by ‘The Momsteins’. Join us to read some wonderful letters written by 26 cool bloggers. Stay around to read some amazing letters coming up.

Today’s prompt is Letter to Parents/ In-Laws/Kids.

Letter to my Son

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My Darling Candy

Here is my first letter to you! You are growing up so fast and I can’t believe Its been six wonderful month alreday! You are my world and I love you to the infinity!. First of all, Thanks for choosing me to be your mumma, the last 15 months (9 months in 6 months out) are truly a blessing for me and every single moment spent with you is so precious. As you are growing up, I hope to give you best of upbringing and make you a good and compassionate human being

Your father knows, I always wanted a daughter (Your dad blamed me for gender discrimination all the time for this). I was so obsessed with thought of having a daughter that I did not even thought of boys name until last week before my delivery. You will be amused to know Candy is the nick name I choose for my would be daughter and when you were born I was so attached to this name that I could call you anything but Candy. I know when you grow up you might feel it sound little girly type, but it has all our love. Well, this does not mean when you were born I was disappointed, No.. Absolutely not, I was head over heels in love with you at the very first sight.

Though, you are very little to comprehend what all I am going to write in this letter, but on an appropriate day when you are all grown up to understand this letter, I hope you will appreciate contents of this letter and act on them. This letter sums up what all I hope you to be when it comes to respecting women.

Other day I read a news which gave me shivers down the spine. An eight-month-old gal was raped by her own cousin and was struggling for her life. Appalled by the news, I was in state of shock and disbelief. Then I saw you and I thanked my stars that I did not have a daughter as I am a very emotionally vulnerable person and also over protective. Hours later, I kept thinking about the news and how the little girl parents must be feeling and what kind of society we are becoming where a girl is not safe even in her own home. Then, I realized what if I don’t have a daughter, being mother of a son, I have a greater responsibility on my shoulders now towards Society. A responsibility to raise you my son as a man who respect women and treat them with dignity and respect.

I hope I raise you to be a nice and compassionate human being, kind of men that every woman dreams to meet, who treat women with respect and with kindness. How you treat women will reflect on how I raised you. Well, in short, I expect you to be like you father who always treats women with much needed respect and dignity.

You will never fully understand what it is like to grow up a girl, but you must remember that it is very different. Being a girl is a biggest blessing (I truly belief that) but sometimes its biggest threat as well. I remember when I was studying Law and my law classes were held late evening at Delhi university and how your maternal grand-parents used to worry like anything till I reached home safely. Though I fully understood their concern, but why they should be worried? Why can’t a girl be allowed to roam freely like a boy? We should create a world where a girl feels protected and comfortable all the time and not suffocated and in danger. I hope you will do your best to make a world a better place for them, your little contribution will matter a lot and influence others to be like that

Dear Son, we should not tell our daughter or sisters what to wear and what not, where to go, what time to go to be safe, instead we should all grow our sons to be a man who treats women with respect and dignity. Also, we should not judge a girl based on clothes she wears, choices she makes in life, unlike you she also has rights to make choices in life, be it anything.

Though, God has created both men and women to be equal, I will expect you to treat them superior to you be it your sister, friend, girl friend or colleague. They are the creator of life, they nurture it and they have been empowered by god to do all what a man can never comprehend to do.  Also, they are equally capable of doing what all you can do be it studies, sports or anything. You should respect them for being able to play so many roles and with so much of love, grace and selflessness.

You will grow and probably be in a relationship in future. I hope I never raise you to be the reason a girl stops believing in love or a girl feels used. I hope I raise you to be someone who respects a girl’s emotional venerability and character.

I hope you will always remember these things as you grow up, because I want to always be proud of having a son like you who respects women. Be a nice Human being first and all the good things will follow for sure!

Make good choices in life!

Your Loving Mumma

I would like to thank Chaitali Das for introducing me. You can read her post here chaitalismusings.com

I would also like to introduce my fellow blogger Neha Gupta Mittal, you can read her wonderful post on the prompt here http://www.blogbynehamittal.com

New Maternity Benefit Law In India- A Boon to Female Employees!

Motherhood, precisely is one of the most beautiful as well as the most memorable phase of life that a woman can ever experience. Initial months after birth are pure bliss and happiness of seeing your child achieving those little milestones are priceless. In these months the bonding between Mother and child develops, I can say I was inseparable from my Little one during all these month, all thanks to get maternity leaves of 6 months  However, as they say all good things comes to an end and so with a blink of an eye my maternity leaves were coming to an end soon. I started to get anxious and thought of leaving little one at home for whole day started hovering in my mind.  Though my in laws came to stay with us when he turned 5 month old, but he was yet to acquaint with them well and was clingy with me most of time, this made me more worrisome and I decided to seek extension of 3 month for work from home after my maternity leaves got over. My HR being aware of new provisions of Maternity Laws in India approved my request, I could not be happier as this meant 3 more month of stay with my Little one.

Being a person from legal background, I was aware of new amendment in Maternity benefit Act, 1961 (Act)  which came into effect from April 2017 (Yes, just before my little one was born, I was too lucky I guess!) and used the benefit provided in the law. However, while talking with few of my friends who are also on maternity leaves, I realized that most of the people are only aware that maternity leave has been extended from 12 weeks to 26 week, but there are many provisions in law beneficial to female employees which they should be knw of like Work from home, Creche facilities, Maternity leaves for adopting and commissioning mother.

So ladies, here is little insight on new amended law which all female (male as well to support their working wife) should know.

  1. What this Act is about

The Maternity Benefit (Amendment) Act 2017 is a landmark Act which has placed India amongst the league of progressive, developed countries with respect to maternity benefits. With the extended Maternity Leave Benefit period, India now qualifies among the 16 countries having the longest paid leave for new mothers. Maternity leave provided under Maternity Benefit Act aims to provide paid leave to female employees so that they can take care of their child at his/her early age soon after delivery which is very critical and important for well-being of the child and not to forget to provide women opportunity to exclusively breastfeed their child.

2. Duration of Maternity Leaves

The period of maternity leave for which a woman employee is entitled to be actually paid is twenty- six weeks now (upgraded from 12 weeks earlier). The would be profitable to about 1.8 billion women work force in India. Only drawback – this is applicable to the establishments employing ten or more people.

3. Time to Start Maternity Leaves

A pregnant woman employee can utilize Maternity Benefit eight weeks prior to the date of expected delivery.

This is helpful as starting eight month of pregnancy most of the women start feeling difficulty in travelling and thus needs greater rest and precaution. So ladies, You need not wait for delivery to start your maternity leaves and same can availed 8 weeks prior to due date of delivery.

4. Benefits given to  for Biological mother

A biological mother is mother who uses her egg to create an embryo implanted in any other woman”.

If latest modern technology is used, through surrogacy, biological mother can  avail this escalated benefit of maternity leave of twelve weeks from the date child is handed over to biological mother.

5. Benefits for Adopting mother

A woman who legally and going through appropriate procedures along with the completion of various formalities, adopts a child  below the age of 3 months, can avail maternity benefit for a period of twelve weeks from the date the child is handed over to her.

 6. Creche Facility

The Amendment has introduced a crèche clause wherein establishment consisting of fifty or more employees is mandatorily required to provide creche facility to female employees which is a real game changer to promote gender diversity. The woman is also to be allowed four visits a day to the creche, including the regular rest interval.

Childcare is the no 1 enabler that women want from their employers. While some Companies are considering a daycare tie-up and some are investing in onsite set up. This is helpful for parents who don’t leave in joint family set up and thus can’t leave their child with someone at home. The cost of setting up day care goes onto employer which also a booster for working parents as saves their daycare cost.

7. Provision for working from home:

There is enabling provision in new act relating to “work from home” for women, which may be exercised after the expiry of the 26 weeks’ leave period. It is based on the nature of work and mutually agreed by the women employee & the manager. This is advantageous for working parents who wants flexible work timings and enables baby care at home as well!

 Apart from these new provisions, there are few general points one should know:

  1. Maternity leave is a paid leave i.e. the employee on maternity leave gets her salary as she used to get earlier during leave. If your employer denies you this right, please confront them.
  2. Employer cannot discriminate performance appraisal system taking into consideration the fact that the female employee was on maternity leave for 6 months.
  3. Employer cannot terminate an employee who is about to take maternity leave on the ground of her being absent during her leave period.

Most corporate are taking the amendments positively, as these liberating policy changes will help in achieving a gender balanced workforce. Working parents constitutes increasing portion of the working population and enabling provisions likes crèche facility, work from home support will not only help the women on maternity but also today’s working parents. Act also mandates the company to lead the communication around maternity benefit to female employee. So, if we you are expecting or planning to conceive or about to deliver a child,  contact your Company HR for more clarity and to know how your company is implementing new provisions.

 Hope this articles clarifies the concept of maternity benefits provided in India. For any queries, please write on aashi2006@gmail.com.